This is because I’ve taken on a commission to write a soundtrack for a short film, which is hell of awesome, but it does mean I’ll have my hands full for the next few weeks. I’ll be back in early September with a brand new Dubious Review. See you then!
Filed under: Games | 12 Comments »
When you decide to give up games, you need some affirmative advice to help you through the bad times. The first thing self-help books tell you is that computer games can’t offer anything that real life doesn’t.
This is so fucking true.
If you make an effort, you can fill real life with all the things you used to love doing in computer games, and you’ll feel a genuine sense of achievement too! So why not put on your Reality Pants and fire up a session of Real Life: The Ultimate Adventure Game.
Remember, this is a feel-good exercise, intended to show you that there’s always a positive way you can look at any situation. So read on, and get ready to smile!
Filed under: Addiction | 13 Comments »
Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight is the Batman film we’ve all been waiting for. It’s got everything. Well, almost. In this exclusive script excerpt, we show you what this film could have been like, if only it had grown some BALLS.
Filed under: Blog-exclusive humour | 11 Comments »
Hello again, y’all! Welcome to our recurring feature, in which we discuss fun ways you can spend your time without playing computer games. Today we’re going to learn how to send a mind-buggeringly offensive email from your work address, thereby throwing your career in jeopardy and scarring one poor admin assistant for life.
Filed under: Fun non-gaming activities | 14 Comments »
A guy animates classic arcade games using household items. The inventiveness here is amazing.
Dude can’t play for shit though.
Filed under: Games | 2 Comments »
Yes, the rumours are true. At E3, Sierra finally announced the long-awaited sitcom / sci fi action blaster, Simpsons Versus Predator.
Filed under: Dubious Reviews | 7 Comments »
It is 1 AM. The room is lit only by the flickering lights issuing from the monitor in the corner. Menacing shadows spring from the banisters of the stairs, looming and dying in the space of a gunshot. The house is asleep, except for one sallow-cheeked yet incredibly attractive man, hunched at the computer and clicking like an enraged crab. On the screen, aliens leap and are cut down by withering hails of fire; they leap again, and again, until finally the man sits back in ragged defeat and eats part of a tangerine.
The man is me. And the game is Aliens Versus Predator. And the living room is my mum’s living room.
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 17 Comments »
If you do not master your boredom… your boredom will master you.
And also you’ll be really bored.
Hello, and welcome to the July progress report.
Filed under: Addiction | 12 Comments »
Recently I posted a rebuttal to this list of signs that you’re addicted to Diablo 2. The list, while a good effort, was complete unmitigated horseshit, mainly because the people who wrote it were simply making stuff up. For example, most of the contributors have never been president of America, and I am insulted that they attempt to claim as much. I am not a child.
So I am going to write my own list of signs that you’re addicted to games, but the big difference with mine is that every entry will be based on my own personal experience; and since I only decided to make this list a week ago, all of the evidence will be from the last seven days. Nothing made up here; oh no. This list is going to fact the shit out of you.
Filed under: Blog-exclusive humour, Comedy Stuff | 20 Comments »
When my mum and dad bought me a Commodore Amiga, it was one of the happiest days of my life.
My parents were art teachers and were not rich; thinking back, they must have spent a fortune on that computer. I’m sure I was incredibly grateful, but I expressed that gratitude by disappearing into my bedroom for weeks at a time and sulking when I had to come out in order to eat and poop. I may even have occasionally combined the two in order to save time.
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 32 Comments »
