Have you ever cheated at a computer game? No? Then you’re a liar as well as a cheat, and you will never marry my daughter. This article is a memoir of my own personal history of dishonesty, so if you’re a despicable shifty bastard like me, then crack open your flatmate’s beer, pull up a [...]
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 10 Comments »
Imagine if Don Draper from TV’s Mad Men had been a gamer, addicted to first-person-shooters, teabagging and Aliens Versus Predator. Then throw in some Mountain Dew and the absolute certainty of a lawsuit, and you have this parody article.
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 14 Comments »
It is 1 AM. The room is lit only by the flickering lights issuing from the monitor in the corner. Menacing shadows spring from the banisters of the stairs, looming and dying in the space of a gunshot. The house is asleep, except for one sallow-cheeked yet incredibly attractive man, hunched at the computer and [...]
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 17 Comments »
When my mum and dad bought me a Commodore Amiga, it was one of the happiest days of my life.
My parents were art teachers and were not rich; thinking back, they must have spent a fortune on that computer. I’m sure I was incredibly grateful, but I expressed that gratitude by disappearing into my bedroom [...]
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 32 Comments »
I’ve always had a special fondness in my heart for games that can be abused; games that allow you to do things you’re really not supposed to do, and get away with it.
Anyone who has tortured a Sim until he expired in a pile of his own shame will understand what I mean. In this [...]
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 29 Comments »
It’s the fourth hour of my gaming session. For the entirety of my evening, I have been hacking a bunch of monsters to bits with my axe, looting their corpses, then reloading and killing the same monsters all over again. I am hitting the Council for Charms, and if I don’t dick about, I can [...]
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 33 Comments »
It’s been a month since I uninstalled Oblivion for the last time. It felt like saying goodbye to an old friend. The cruellest thing about removing this game is that you can’t just press one button and let the computer perform the euthanasia while you weep quietly and hug yourself; no, you have to delete [...]
Filed under: Gaming nostalgia | 10 Comments »