The sad part for me is that my females are NEVER pretty enough. There is no boob too big and perky or skin too flawless…Im in the tatoo phase now…oh..boy..

Though I should talk. I’m a scooterist. We wear more protection and have an actual engine under our arses. But rain and psychotic drivers are still dangers. I can tell you stories about riding 100 miles home during a trip to Vermont, through constant rain at 55 mph. Armored jacket or no, you end up smelling like rancid gorgonzola.

Urban Chaos Riot Response, for PS2. Giving the friendly neighborhood cop Jonas the friggin’ time of his life with a tazer-to-the-balls while he screamed and fruitlessly shot at random directions trying to kill one out of a half-hundred of clichéd terrorists. Yum.

GTA San Andreas. Stopping at every red light and getting out of the car after every slight bruise, as if wanting to offer your wallet, paying dearly for ruining the poor fellow’s commute to work, made the game feel less like GTA and more like My Lil’ Manners Book. THAT, is how you break GTA, dudes. [i] By not breaking anything.[/i]

Will there ever be another update??

Will this rash on my ball-sack ever get better??

I want one NO & two YES answers!

or when it rains, I get a nice racing stripe across my pants, backpack, and neck.

or the fact I’ve been hit by cars 3 times (all women drivers)

or the day that my handlebars decided to not be connected to the front wheels anymore, right when I needed to make a sharp turn. (hint: I ended up about 6 feet into some thick brush)

or other cyclists that try and turn left, without looking or signaling when I’m trying to pass them and yelling “passing on the left!”.

or hipsters on their fixies that don’t know how to stop and promptly rear-end me on stop lights.

or the puncture vine that left me with 79 holes in my brand new inner-tubes when I tried to take a shortcut. (slime can only do so much)

Man I hate cycling…. I think I’ll go for a ride tomorrow..